Quotes

here_he_is

Quotes

"Wank-you very much"

1. Busty Woman in Elevator: "Everyone's been so nice to me"
Fletcher: "Well thats cause you've got big jugs. I... I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I want to squeeze them. I... ma ma"

Paris Nights

By David Brent

A rose you never used your thorns,

the one's you loved abandoned you,

your angel face made hearts so warm,

you helped the sick but who helped you?

Then rushing through the Paris Night,

they hounded you, you lost control,

We prayed that you'd be alright,

the news came through,

your body C..O..L..D

Good night my sweet princess,

sleep tight my sweet princess....

Colour-blind

By David Brent

Spaceman came down to answer some things,

The world gathered round from paupers to kings,

I'll answer your questions, i'll answer them true,

I'll show you the way, you know what to do.

Who is wrong and who is right,

Yellow, brown, black or white,

The spaceman he answered,

your no longer mine,

I've opened your eyes,

your now colour-blind ("racial, so")

5. [Dunking little girl in fountain]
Charlie Baileygates: "You had enough?"
Little Girl: "I'm gonna tell my daddy on you, Charlie!"
Charlie Baileygates: "Wrong answer. And the names Hank, fuckface!"

7. [Dundee is threatened by a switchblade]
Crocodile Dundee: "That's not a knife"
[Dundee draws a large Bowie knife]

Crocodile Dundee: "Now THAT'S a knife"

9. Funboy: "Jesus Christ!"
Eric Draven: "Jesus Christ? Stop me if you heard this one: Jesus Christ walks into a hotel. (Fun Boy shoots him) Ow! He hands the innkeeper three nails, and he asks... (Fun Boy shoots him again)"
Funboy: "Don't you ever fuckin' die?"
Eric Draven: "...Can you put me up for the night?"

2. Judge Stevens: "And how about you, Mr. Reede?"

Fletcher: "I'm a little upset about a bad sexual episode I had last night"

Free Love Freeway

By David Brent

Pretty Girl on the hood of a Cadillac yeah,

Broken down on freeway nine,

Take a look, get her engine started,

Leave her purring and I roll on by, bye-bye

Free love on the free-love freeway,

Cus' love is free and the freeway's long,

I got some hot love on the hot love highway,

Ain't going home cus' my baby's gone

Little while later, see a cowboy crying,

"Hey buddy, what can i do?",

He says "I lived a good life, about a thousand women"

I say "Why the tears", he says "Cus' none of them was you"

Free love on the free-love freeway,

Cus' love is free and the freeway's long,

I got some hot love on the hot love highway,

Ain't going home cus' my baby's gone...she's gone,

My baby's gone, she's gone, she's gone away, yeah.

3. Fielding Mellish: "I had a good relationship with my parents. They rarely every h... I think they hit me only once, actually, in my whole childhood. They, they, uh, started beating me on the 23rd of December in 1942, and stopped beating me in the late Spring of '44"

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4. Fielding Mellish: "I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham"

6. [A kid with glasses stares mindlessly at Charlie, who then transforms into Hank]
Hank Evans: "What are you staring at, fuckface?"
Father: "What is your problem?"
Hank Evans: "I got no beef with you. This is between me and the boy"

8. Harry Callahan: "I know what you're thinking. Did he fire five or six shots? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?"

10. Spence: "Almost a bit of Raspberry Jam back there, a bit of Raspberry Jam!!!!"

"Calm down lynn, You're suffering from minor woman's whip-lash!"